Helen Loves Dick.

"You really make me sick, Helen. You really do. I really hate you."

Wallace Shawn's A THOUGHT IN 3 PARTS opens May 4 at the Vortex.

Dispatch from Apartment#111

Here are a few photos from the somewhat secret show in our apartment last night. Thanks to Jonathan Ames, Little Stolen Moments, and Wayne Alan Brenner for entertaining so throroughly. Although Mr. Ames landed in Austin a bit sleep-deprived (after spending the previous 48 hrs. hanging out with Marilyn Manson), he was every bit as funny and engaging as we've come to expect. He mourned the decline of pubic hair on women and told stories about wearing a corset as a child, attending New Jersey's worst rehab facility, almost making love to a vagrant dwarf, and receiving psychic messages from Joyce Carol Oates. There was a lot more, of course, but that should give you a pretty good idea of the evening's scope.

those dirty, dirty, alumni...

YESTERDAY, we sent in an alumni update to our alma mater. TODAY, they posted it on the website. Something about the combination of the headline they chose and the portrait of children sledding makes us smile until our lips crack at the seams. We love sweet Kansas.