Monday, October 13, 2008

The Offers You Missed: 10/12

86 offers gone, 414 remain...

Who wants to hear a choicest, plumpest piece of gossip?

Who wants to burn a bible and an American flag?

Who wants to can-can on grapes with the ladies?

Who wants to receive a congratulatory degree?

Who wants to raid my medicine cabinet?

Who wants quadruple penetration?

Who wants to walk the high wire?

Who wants to conduct a car horn symphony?

Who wants to see a beautiful hand ballet?

Who wants to have that man washed right out of their hair?

Who wants to have a spell cast on them?

Who wants to be made sticky in 7 different ways?

Who wants the history of lobotomy relayed in limerick form?

Who wants strange impressions left on their skin?

Who wants to dress me in whatever you like from the costume box?

Who wants to help a lonely stranger sew his torn-up stuffed animal back together?

Who wants to let someone else pick an offer for you?

Who wants an adventure in the palm of their hand?

Who wants to play the Hansel and Gretel game?

Who wants to dress up as a nurse and administer shock treatment?

Who wants opera in a can?

Who wants to cook s'mores on an indoor campfire?

Who wants to read a short story that's written entirely on a human body?

Who wants to do 3 shots of whiskey to the pre-recorded sounds of hot, nasty sex?

Who wants to know how I like it, why I like it, when I like it, and where I like it?

Who wants a date?

Who wants to dance without a hint of self-consciousness? You will finally be free.

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