Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Offers You Missed: October 10th

29 offers gone, 471 remain...

Who wants the march of ages?

Who wants to be mired in the filth of modernity and then rinsed clean with the tears of an angel?

Who want their shoes to be tap shoes?

Who wants to examine an uncut one?

Who wants a flip book of themselves?

Who wants to save a crustacean?

Who wants the massage of 1000 hands?

Who wants a bare ass canvas on which to paint their masterpiece?

Who wants to watch two home-schooled sisters perform a Lincoln-Douglass debate?

Who wants a lifetime supply of something?

Who wants to receive fan mail for a week?

Who wants to see a magic trick that isn't very magical but just might shed some light on your condition?

Who wants to candle their ears or pot their netty?

Who wants to build something that you know will last?

Who wants to meet the green faerie?

Who wants to watch someone eat a plateful of fire--one fat, flaming bite at a time?

Who wants to spoon and be spooned, all at once?

Who wants miniature matchbox cars to massage their scalp?

Who wants to attend the world's tiniest church service?

Who wants to see me at my most angry?

Who wants to dream a little dream?

Who wants to hear the music of my ancestors?

Who wants me to phone them exactly one year from tonight? We'll chat like old friends.

Who wants a very special wake-up call tomorrow morning?

Who wants to partake in the rest of the show as an inanimate object?

Who wants Babe Ruth air conditioning?

Who wants a lesson in the birth and death of stars?

Who wants an aphrodisiac for each of the five senses?

Who wants to discover a new way of achieving euphoria?

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