Saturday, October 18, 2008

The Offers You Missed: 10/17

149 offers gone, 351 remain...

Who wants to eat the last meal and say the last words of the last person to be executed?

Who wants to help vegetable trump animal?

Who wants a man to strip naked and forfeit his magnifying glass for a period not to exceed three minutes?

Who wants the sweetest stuff to fall out of the sky and onto their face?

Who wants erotic tales whispered into both of their ears at once?

Who wants to ask a series of questions guaranteed to make a sad stutterer stutter?

Who wants to open someone's hope chest?

Who wants their virginity restored?

Who wants a pie in the face for each year of their life?

Who wants to visit the human petting zoo?

Who wants to pick something I can't use for the rest of the night? I'll do the show without a waist, without an arm, without my face...

Who wants to be in the show on a night of their choosing?

Who wants to enact an imaginary murder and then flee the scene of the crime?

Who wants to take their chances with a can of whipped cream?

Who wants to put their head on my shoulder?

Who wants to be looked at, really looked at, deep into your eyes and down into your soul?

Who wants to walk on the moon?

Who wants to see the Emperor's Fashion Show?

Who wants to learn how to pick locks?

Who wants a pet to take home with them?

Who wants three very different dances with three very different partners?

Who wants to hear the touching, real-life tale of a man who traveled over 6,000 miles to lose his virginity?

Who wants to biggest hair in the room?

Who wants to watch someone jump up and down for as long as they can until they drop from exhaustion?

Who wants a detailed evaluation of the first impression they make?

Who wants to erase their regret forever? The formula will be revealed in private.

Who wants a life mask of their face?

Who wants an artist to draw their organs on the outside of their body?

Who wants to be deprived of their senses for twelve minutes?

Who wants to audition a triple threat?

Who wants to fill a little person with the stuff of life?

Who wants to challenge me to a staring contest?

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