Monday, October 20, 2008

The Offers You Missed: 10/19


206 offers gone, 294 remain...

Who wants to hallucinate?

Who wants to blow bubbles and suck peppermint?

Who wants a smelly secretary to take dictation for them?

Who wants a lullaby in a foreign language?

Who wants to be wrapped up in daisies, wrapped up in plumbs, enveloped in posies, a thousand aching thumbs?

Who wants to be queen for a day?

Who wants to give the air meaning?

Who wants it to be just you and him and a hundred matches in a dark room?

Who wants to have a really good conversation? We'll provide the script.

Who wants a whirlwind romance complete with champagne, hickeys, and your name sung off the rooftops?

Who wants to make a graceful exit?

Who wants to participate in a watermelon eating contest?

Who wants a phone call from a very important person?

Who wants to go to Schlitterbahn?

Who wants to learn how to make pickles?

Who wants to be on the top or the bottom of a dog pile?

Who wants to open their Christmas presents early this year?

Who wants to pack up all your cares and woes and send them to a complete stranger?

Who wants an arousing pony ride?

Who wants to be a silent partner?

Who wants to be wrapped up like a Christmas cracker?

Who wants me to give up one of my vices?

Who wants to be a voyeur?

Who wants the chance to break open a very special pinata?

Who wants to play a private game of "smells?"

Who wants to hear a lady banker tell a secret about each of her 57 boyfriends?

Who wants a custom-made suit of newspaper, tailored to their specifications?

Who wants forgiveness?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

DOGPILE!!!!!!!