Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Offers You Missed: 10/25

299 offers gone, 201 remain...

Who wants to spend the night in a flophouse?

Who wants to experience the placebo effect?

Who wants to wake the giant sleeping robot?

Who wants to be groped in 3/4 time?

Who wants too much of a good thing?

Who wants a perfume made from their own bodily fluids?

Who wants to feed a sharp-toothed puppet?

Who wants a Yiddish lesson?

Who wants to mouth kiss?

Who wants their hairs plucked?

Who wants to receive a sausage stuffed with holiday treats?

Who wants to throw ripe fruit at me?

Who wants to drop babies?

Who wants to look like they have great tits?

Who wants as many inches as you have oceans? Puppies?

Who wants to choose their offer from the dumpster?

Who wants to steal memories from the photo albums of strangers?

Who wants to be an identity thief?

Who wants to forget they ever saw this?

Who wants to watch a scene from whatever chestnut just closed at Austin Playhouse?

Who wants a tender eyelid massage?

Who wants real tears shed for you?

Who wants to learn what homosexuals really do in the bedroom?

Who wants to participate in the Knight of the Whistle ceremony?

Who wants to be a martyr and give an extra offer to your date?

Who wants to have their crotch sniffed?

Who wants to hear things about other people that will make you feel so much better about yourself?

Who wants to hear the most beautiful words ever written, told with hot breath in your ears?

Who wants to be carried on someone's back until they just can't take it anymore?

Who wants a good home for anything you wish wasn't in your car?

Who wants to dissect a fetal pig with a lab partner?

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