Friday, October 17, 2008

The Offers You Missed: 10/16

117 offers gone, 383 remain...

Who wants to watch an array of ladies and gentlemen pee in unison?

Who wants to be a young composer's muse?

Who wants to supercharge their self-esteem?

Who wants to learn exactly what I've consumed since October the 4th?

Who wants to feed someone soup made from your socks?

Who wants uh uh uh uhhhhh?

Who wants the touch of 40 different textures?

Who wants to have their way with a beard?

Who wants a relaxing massage utilizing the feet-face method?

Who wants their name sewn on their underpants?

Who wants to purify a man with duct tape?

Who wants to be fed gold and silver?

Who wants to enjoy a meal in the primary color of their choice?

Who wants to deface the walls of my parlour?

Who wants to make everyone breathe easier?

Who wants to be frosted like a cupcake?

Who wants to invade someone's personal space? Conquer it, and receive the title of ownership.

Who wants to read a great book in only 20 minutes?

Who wants bacon in their ice cream?

Who wants to play the gentlemen's game of Cottabus?

Who wants to experience magical thinking?

Who wants their purse or wallet turned into a place of interest?

Who wants to send a Black Valentine?

Who wants a five minute nudist colony?

Who wants a dance break?

Who wants to be the life of the party?

Who wants to be continued? Receive a surprise performance at a later date.

Who wants the price of their ticket in groceries?

Who wants to watch someone sit in a bowl of tomato soup and then paint your name with their bare buttocks?

Who wants an old-fashioned silhouette modeled after their mother's face?


Carlos said...

Them socks wuz good!!

Liz said...

One of the most interesting nights of my life. They are not kidding when they say no one leaves unchanged.