Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Offers You Missed: 10/24

268 offers gone, 232 remain...

Who wants to learn what it takes to be an American?

Who wants to hide a gumball in their underpants and let someone retrieve it using only their mouth?

Who wants to braid someone's pubic beard?

Who wants to style hair with peanut butter and jelly?

Who wants to be cared for like only a mother can?

Who wants to solemnly swear that they'll never lie again to anyone, EVER?

Who wants to blow some things up?

Who wants a week of room and board in the worst city in America?

Who wants to be numb, but not dumb?

Who wants a 5-star meal served to them from the toilet?

Who wants process over product?

Who wants some time to clear up any misconceptions you think people may have about you?

Who wants to be polished like the finest silver?

Who wants Elmer's glue, on their arms, blown dry, peeled off?

Who wants to learn about a crime that's been committed and decide on a fair punishment?

Who wants a Samuel Beckett experience?

Who wants to preserve the last of their beauty?

Who wants to break a bottle over someone's head?

Who wants to be dressed for dinner?

Who wants 15 things that have fallen from the sky?

Who wants a kiss from a married woman?

Who wants to be taken out back and shown a secret surprise?

Who wants to slow dance with a hirsute?

Who wants their entire face covered in lip balm, and then kissed?

Who wants to have their hair lovingly brushed while they describe all of the houses or apartments they've lived in?

Who wants a 90 second manicure-pedicure with one person on each appendage?

Who wants their pockets filled with something rich?

Who wants to be bedazzled?

Who wants to experience the fifth taste?

Who wants to be gussied up in lady dress, painted, and paraded?

Who wants to be fed a delicious dessert with dainty fingers in mouth and on lips?

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