Friday, October 31, 2008

The Offers You Missed: 10/30

362 offers gone, 138 remain...

Who wants a deeper voice?

Who wants to experience the bubbling bliss of yogic flying?

Who wants to eat a box of Twinkies as the origins of every ingredient are relayed in great detail?

Who wants to cover themselves in syrup and roll around in beautiful fall leaves collected from the grounds of a Texas landmark?

Who wants to see a light show from a man's zipper?

Who wants someone to be their childhood pet, reanimated?

Who wants to go to the drive-in and wallow, really wallow, in every terrible little thing?

Who wants to be made into a sandwich, and eaten?

Who wants a one-on-one yoga session in the nude?

Who wants to drink champagne from my slipper?

Who wants to see a reading of Eugene O'Neill's lost masterpiece: ABORTION?

Who wants to be blindfolded and then abandoned in a part of town they've never seen? (UPDATE: Mikaela successfully fled the creepy rural outskirts of East Austin and found her way to a Red Lobster.)

Who wants to burn a hundred calories?

Who wants to take the clown college final exam?

Who wants to hear sounds not meant for human ears?

Who wants to learn how it ends?

Who wants tricks and treats inside their mouth?

Who wants me to call your mother for you?

Who wants George and Johnny?

Who wants to hear a detailed description of my personal backstage rituals?

Who wants to be touched with a ten foot pole?

Who wants the heaviest handbag?

Who wants to be part of a dervish?

Who wants to play tennis against the hardest opponent?

Who wants to eat from the four food groups of the apocalypse?

Who wants to be my fourth husband... or my first wife?

Who wants a series of people to present you with their least favorite parts of themselves?

Who wants an estate sale?

Who wants to provide live sound effects as someone reenacts the experience of losing their virginity?

Who wants to shave my legs?

Who wants a glass of the most nutritious beverage in the world?

Who wants to look like they have emotions?

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